Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
