I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
