he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
