it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
