I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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