so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
