My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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