I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
