Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
