how can u be prego again
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
