i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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