Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
