the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
