i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
