just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
