You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
