Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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