all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
