Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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