But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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