Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
