you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She even gives head with a lisp.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
