Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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