I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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