What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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