did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
