We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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