If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
