What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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