She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
