we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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