Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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