he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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