Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
