I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
