my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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