if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
