hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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