My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
