false alarm. still invincible.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
