So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Im part way to drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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