she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
