im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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