idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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