TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
