my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize