It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
