we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
