Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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