Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
