u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
