where does the pee come out of this thing
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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