Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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