Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
