Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
