We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
