How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
