just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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