Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
