you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
