I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
